What is it like to battle an eating disorder? Print
by Andrea Holwegner | Apr 23, 2013
If you or one of your friends or family members is struggling with an eating disorder this is a must read. One of my clients wrote a beautiful poem that articulates the harsh dark side of the struggles of her bulimia but also her dreams of the bright side as she does the work to get healthier. She describes writing “the dark side” easily in a short time but agonizing over the “bright side” as these words take longer and are harder to come. I am sure most of the clients I have worked with that are overcoming anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder would agree.
I am honoured to work with such an amazing, insightful woman. Here is her poem:
THE DARK SIDE Empty and hollow Feeling nothing but numb Grasping desperately to anything Because she’s stupid and dumb Lying and scheming Doing whatever it takes She lacks any willpower The fullness immediately aches Sneaking and hiding The pie a la mode She’s fat and disgusting her body about to explode Panic and terror Consume her whole mind Her quest for relief Keeps her cruel and unkind. Purging and panting Sprawled out on her floor A second of freedom While she rots to the core Sadness and shame Follow the ritual act She’s a weak guilty loser With her soul hardly intact Conviction and strength Promised for the next day But when tomorrow arrives Her vicious cycle will replay Acceptance and love Must be urgently found If this failure doesn’t get it I’ll bury her under ground | THE BRIGHT SIDE Full and complete Feeling more than alive She’s smart and intelligent With the will to survive Honest and upfront Can be difficult to be Improving her habits Feeling open and free Positive and secure With her dinner plate She’s healthy and happy Less focused on weight. Calm and relieved The obsession is gone Friends able to see her As a girl to depend on Laughing and joking Are back in her life She’s a committed mother And an appreciative wife Pride and respect Ensure she gives back Her spirit now found And her heart isn’t black Patience and reason Help with bumps in the road Reactions are minimal Her worry now slowed Acceptance and love They fuel and drive her To live a remarkable life As a grateful survivor |