The Division of Responsibility in Feeding Children & Teens

How this approach can help foster a positive feeding relationship between you and your child 

One of the most rewarding parts of being a Pediatric Registered Dietitian is having the opportunity to work with parents and caregivers who are committed to helping their child build a healthy relationship with food. 

For many families, food and mealtimes can provide meaningful opportunities for learning, joy, and connection. However, they can certainly present with their unique set of challenges as well. 

Perhaps you are a parent whose child never seems to be interested in trying new foods, or encouraging them to take a few more bites always seems to end in battle. If this is you, you are not alone! 

The Division of Responsibility is a feeding principle that I will often introduce to families facing various mealtime struggles. In this blog post, I will explore the basics of what the Division of Responsibility is, its benefits, and how it can be used in tricky food scenarios.  

What is the Division of Responsibility in Feeding?

The Division of Responsibility was first introduced by renowned feeding expert, Ellyn Satter. Its purpose is to define the roles of the parent-child feeding relationship to foster healthy eating habits in children and to encourage peaceful family meals. The respective roles of parents and children are defined as follows: 

• Parents decide What, When and Where to feed 
• Children decide If and How Much to eat at meals and snacks  

The Division of responsibility recognizes that children have an innate ability to recognize how much food they need to support their nutrition needs for growth and development. Parents can best support them by providing structure with food offerings and serving them foods that not only help with meeting their nutrition needs, but that promote joy in eating as well!   

What are the benefits of the Division of Responsibility?

There are a variety of benefits in taking a Division of Responsibility approach to feeding. Here are a few examples that highlight the advantages for both parents and children: 

1. Reduces mealtime stress: by removing the pressure to get kids to eat, parents can focus on creating a positive mealtime environment that helps them connect with their children. 
2. Helps prevent picky eating: removing the pressure to take bites of food can allow kids to explore foods on their own terms and in a more positive way! 
3. Promotes healthy eating habits: Parents can set an example for kids by modeling what well-balanced meals look like. Kids can strengthen their skills tending to their hunger and fullness cues by deciding if and how much to eat.  
4. Establishes mealtime routines: structured routines can help contribute to a child’s overall sense of security and predictability in their daily eating patterns. They can also help promote better communication and planning amongst caregivers.

Using the Division of Responsibility when handling difficult feeding situations

Here are a few examples of common scenarios that I encounter with families, and tips for navigating them: 

1. “My child is a picky eater and refuses to try new foods.” 

Remember that it is up to the child whether they decide to put a food in their mouth. You can help them get comfortable with new foods by continuing to offer them at family meals and removing pressure to take bites.  

2.  “If I don’t say anything, my child will only eat the rice and avoid the protein and vegetables.”  

While it can be tempting to encourage your child to take bites of nutritious foods, this tactic often backfires and can make children even more resistant to eating other foods. When left to their own devices, most children can still meet their nutrition needs even if it seems that their diet is more limited. Rather than telling them what needs to be eaten off their plate, allow them to decide how much to eat instead!  

3. “My child will eat next to nothing at meals. I am worried he isn’t eating enough to meet his nutritional needs.” 

 It can be normal for kids to not have much of an appetite at meals, as this can be reflective of their changing growth patterns. Remember that your child is the expert in determining how much to eat to feel satisfied. To help your child build up an appetite, ensure meals and snacks are spread out approximately 2-3 hours apart.  

4. “My child is in a larger body and I feel like I need to control how much they are eating.” 

No matter your child’s size, it is still up to them to decide how much to eat as they know their body best. Controlling the amount your child is eating can potentially cause them to lose trust in listening to their body cues and can encourage disordered eating patterns down the road.  

5. “My child will often ask for foods that are not being served at the meal.” 

While it is important for kids to gain exposure to a variety of foods at family meals, I often encourage having at least one food item at the meal that your child is familiar with and enjoys. If they are asking for food that you have not prepared, suggest having that food at an upcoming meal or snack instead. This helps reassure children that they will have another opportunity to enjoy this food and helps prevent you from becoming a short-order cook!  

Whether you are the parent of younger children or older teens, the Division of Responsibility can help make mealtimes more enjoyable for you and your family. By allowing them to have more autonomy in determining how much to eat while providing them with a variety of nutritious and delicious food, you can help your child build a healthy relationship with food that will last a lifetime! 

Have more questions on how you can best support your child with their nutrition? Our team of Dietitians are here to help!