Start learning how to accept and even love the body you live in 

By Jana Spindler (Eating disorder Dietitian and Canadian Certified Counsellor helping support dieting recovery, self-love and body confidence)

How many times have you heard someone you care about picking apart their body? 

“This is too big”, “that is too small”, “so lumpy here” or “bony there”. 

Too many times!! The problem is we all have heard these comments far too often. So much so that we often don’t even recognize how damaging they really are.  Maybe you were even the person saying these things. 

In contrast, how often have you overheard your friends and loved ones saying really positive things about their body? I am guessing, this is rare. It can almost feel awkward to be that person who is okay or even happy with their body because we have made it so normal to not be. 

I want you to be obnoxiously confident in who you are! In order to do that, I need you to be okay in the body you have. 

The way you talk about your body impacts your mood and your confidence. If you consciously choose to say or believe good things, or even neutral things about yourself as a person and the body you live in, you are going to feel better about yourself. 

As a Registered Dietitian and Nutrition Counsellor, the issue I see time and time again, is that most people believe that I will be happy when my body looks like “X”. But critiquing and picking apart the body doesn’t get us there.  

You cannot hate your body into change. Hate or disgust or dislike is not a strong motivator! And the not-so-secret is that if hate is your method of motivation? There will be no end point, there will always be something to work on and improve and you may end up stuck only looking at your body through the negative, never-good-enough lens. 

How do you Start Learning Body Confidence? 

Here are a few of my tips for improving body image and learning to be okay with your body:

1. Find your neutral zones or body parts and focus on those (catch & re-direct)

Do you have strong feelings about your forearms? How about your shinbones? Or your earlobes? … Probably not. There are at least a few physical places on your body that you do not hate. Try to think of at least 2-3 of your own. 

Better yet, find some places that you like! 

Once you have that place, try paying attention to it next time you are looking in a mirror or walking by a reflective surface. “Forearms, forearms, forearms” or “Check out my forearms today!!” 

Likely, this will feel very awkward at first. You are probably used to looking at the places you wish were a little different and finding yourself down the rabbit-hole of negative self-talk. But if you can focus on your neutral or positive places, or even re-direct to those locations when you catch your thoughts being more negative, this magical thing happens. You spend less time thinking about your body all together.

2. Take care of yourself in a way that makes you feel proud

Remember how I said hate is not a good motivator? Well it turns out that being proud of yourself, is a much better motivator. Feeling good, feels good! 

Now just to be clear, this does NOT mean doing everything perfectly. What I mean by this, is making conscious choices and taking care of yourself in a way that serves you best in that moment. Can you slow down, and ask yourself, what do I need right now? What would make me feel my best? 

Some good examples of this are: 

1. Getting enough sleep. Try setting an alarm to remind you to start getting ready for bed. 
2. Choosing what you want to eat. Make a decision and own that decision. I know that usually, I feel best when my meals are balanced with a starch, a vegetable or fruit, a protein and a fat or flavour punch. These meals have to be flexible too. This could mean wings and beer with friends is what will hit the spot or maybe it is breakfast for dinner and a good book. 
3. Joyful movement. Move your body in a way that you actually enjoy. Don’t do it just because you “should”. Now, I am a gym rat and I enjoy lifting weights, but there have been times when I went to the gym, started my workout, and decided that that was the last place I really wanted to be. So I left and I decided to go relax instead. That was what my body really needed in those moments. 
4. Choosing to stay home and relax instead of a busy night out with friends when you are already tired. 

3. Develop mastery

Do things that you love whether that is movement, adventure, art, music, or simply making memories with friends and family. Practice appreciation for what you can do, instead of focusing on what you look like doing it. 

If you don’t feel like you have something that brings you joy, then find something! And yes, finding something new will probably take a few tries (at least).  

A new skill such as: speaking another language, crocheting, playing a musical instrument, learning photography, painting, or writing 

A new activity such as: going to a trampoline park, going for a hike, try the monkey bars at the playground, or learn to slack-line 

The goal of developing mastery in a new or current skill is to re-learn to appreciate what your body can do. This helps us in the practice of self acceptance and also helps us give brain space to something other than our body.  

Here is the thing, I don’t need you to love your body, but I do need you to start accepting your body and learning to be OKAY with it. Sometimes, it is the practice of radically accepting that there are some things that we cannot change, so why spend our time and energy focused on those things. We don’t have to love them, but we need to waste less time thinking about them. 

And so my final advice to you, is the old saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” And specifically, I mean this in terms of your self -talk of your thoughts and how you speak out-loud about yourself. 

Why stop there? Learn more about improving your body image: