Guide for Parents Supporting Eating Disorder Recovery in University Students

Practical tips for success in supporting your child’s recovery journey when they’re away for university

As a parent, what an emotional time it is when your child is heading off or is already away at college or university. It can feel like such an incredible accomplishment to watch your child take this next big step in their life and at the same time, it can be incredibly stressful and sad and scary. How will they do on their own? Do they need me anymore? Have I taught them how to take care of themselves well enough? What do I do if they struggle?  

When we add to this the stress of having a child who is struggling with an eating disorder (ED), or disordered eating or may even be in the early stages of recovery, the stakes feel even higher and the emotions even bigger. It can feel like all of a sudden, you are unable to support them and they are off on their own to handle it.  

I am here to tell you, that like it or not, you are still needed. You will always be your child’s landing place when things get hard.  

I am sure I called my mother way more than I expected when I got to university and while I was away. “Mom, how do I cook rice?” “Mom, how do I get this stain out?” “Mom, I miss home.”  

What we know about the brain and eating disorders, is that in times of transition or higher stress, there is a higher chance that the brain will hijack a person back to older patterns, such as disordered eating behaviours. These old patterns accidentally soothe the brain the wrong way for someone with an eating disorder and so unintentionally, individuals can slip into old patterns. It is because of this that building strategies and support is essential.  

Now this doesn’t mean that we should avoid transitions or change or next steps, there are absolutely ways we can support your loved one to be successful during university.  

So here are the top three areas that you can build in support for your loved one whether they are yet to head off or are currently away for university:  

1. Food Support 

Of course, adequate nutrition and nutrition behaviours are going to continue to be essential. As the food environment changes, we want to help our loved ones develop strategies to adapt to this new situation.  

Help them explore what their options are and use these options to build their individual plan.  

• Are they using meal hall or cooking on their own?  
• If they are using meal hall, what are the meal hours available or is it a 24/7 option?  
• Is the menu listed ahead of time so that your child can plan for safer options or challenge foods as needed?  
• Are there non-meal hall options on campus? Do you need to practice using these food options before heading to school to get comfortable with them? 
• If they are cooking on their own, how will they ensure they have enough food options around? Do they have a car to go grocery shopping? Are they planning to use grocery or meal delivery services?  
• If they have roommates or friends on campus, will they be eating together or cooking together? Will this be daily or occasionally?   
• If they are in dorms, are they allowed to have a fridge or microwave in their room? Is there one on the floor or in the building that they can use?  
• Do they have access to an in-person or virtual eating disorder-trained Registered Dietitian who will help them with meal planning or ensuring adequate nutrition?  

Help them build food skills ideally before they go to school however some of these are still possible to do remotely. 

• Do they have a meal and snack list for ideas (including safer food ideas)?  
• How often will they be eating? 
• Set them up with a few recipes or a simple cookbook that they have practiced with at home before they go to school  
• Do they have a list of quick meals/ snacks that they can go to when they feel stressed for time?  
• Help them build an “emergency” or backup stock of food that they can keep on their floor or in their room 

2. Parent Support 

As I mentioned, your kid still needs you. It is important that you are able to keep in contact with them on a regular basis as you are likely a huge emotional support for your child. Are you comfortable being their emotion coach and supporting them with the big emotions that come with change? How regular the support needs to be will depend on your family and your child’s needs.  

• Schedule a time for regular check-ins. Is this a daily phone call or text? Is this a weekly call?  
• Will they call you when it works for them? Or is there a set time that you will connect?  
• How often will you be visiting them? How often will they come home to visit you? When supporting your child with an ED it is incredibly important to lay eyes on them and to physically be with them when you can.  
• Are you providing any meal support while your child is at college? How frequently will you be providing this support and what will it look like? Is this a text check-in, phone call, or video call? Check out this blog post to learn more about virtual meal support.  

3. Medical Support

Maintaining medical and emotional health is the ultimate goal in supporting your young adult child to be successful at university. This takes a community!  

• Outside of you as a parent support, what does the support team look like for your child at university? This may include nutrition support, medical support (physicians, nurses, and psychiatrists as needed), psychological support, and social connections.  
• Are these team members connecting with your kid in person or virtually?  
• As soon as possible, get your loved one set up with their support team and get consent signed for you to be included in their care and receive updates as appropriate.  
• Are you getting the emotional support needed to continue to show up for your child as they progress through this transition time? Is there anything else you need to be doing to make sure that you can show up as needed?

If you are uncertain how to best support your child as they transition/are already away at university or if you need help working through all these variables, please reach out for more support! This is an emotional time, and it helps to have a team supporting your child and your family.  

Join our Waitlist for Caregivers United

Caregivers United is a 6-week online learning and group support program we created specifically for parents, partners, and family supporting a child/loved one in recovery. Through years of counselling families affected by eating disorders, we’ve seen just how powerful parents and family can be towards recovery. This extensive program equips you with the tools, knowledge, and support necessary to step boldly in the recovery journey to guide and support your loved one through messy emotions, with meal support, and more. 

Click Here to learn more and sign up to get important details.